Years ago, I wrote daily for my blog www.minterlife.com. Most of the blog was simply personal everyday life, but every Tuesday, I set spiritual goals and reflected on my walk with God over the past week. Recently I’ve been reading through those past journals and realized just how good they were for me. They held me accountable and motivated me to continue to grow in my walk with the Lord.
So I’m bringing them back.
Every Tuesday, I’ll be writing my spiritual journey for the week. It won’t be the normal “how-to” or teaching posts that are on this blog. Rather, it will be a raw and honest look at what it looks like in ordinary mundane life to strive to let Christ change you. Today is day one.
This past week I’ve noticed I have a lot of anger in my soul. Anger at some unfair treatment. Anger that people aren’t held accountable. Anger that I have to smile and just pretend their sin against me is no big deal.
But the thing about anger is that it eats you up inside. It does nothing to affect the other person. I’ve noticed this week my anger needs to be dealt with by God before it eats me up inside.
So today I started with journaling my prayers with God, and I simply told Him I was angry. I asked him to reveal to me all the real reasons I was angry. I sat in silence for a while and soon God revealed to me a few things.
Yes, I was angry because of some real circumstances that were sin. But I was also angry because I couldn’t hold the responsible party accountable. I was angry because I couldn’t give them a piece of my mind. I was angry because I wanted them to pay. I was angry because I couldn’t control the situation. I was angry because deep down I wanted the offense to become public.
The source of my anger was:
- I wanted to be in charge
- I wanted to be able to sin against them with no consequence
- I wanted to bring retribution
- I wanted control
- I wanted public recognition of the sin
All those things on that list are pride and sin…..my sin. As I sat and reflected on the list, I couldn’t help but begin to confess and beg God to forgive me for my own pride. I was so focused on an offense, I couldn’t see how the enemy was twisting my thoughts to make me think my anger was justified. I couldn’t see my own sin. As I spent time confessing, I opened my Bible to the Psalms. Psalms 116:7 to be exact.
I don’t normally flip randomly to passages, but today I did, and I believe the Lord orchestrated it. My anger has kept me from rest. This morning, as I read, I had to cry out to God, “return my soul to rest for you HAVE been good to me“.
Goals for this week:
- Daily journeling and allowing the Lord the space to speak to my heart
- Pray through a Psalm a day
- Continue studying the book of Matthew
- Read 2 chapters of “Gentle and Lowly” and allow the heart of Christ to soften my heart this week
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- Moral Delimmas: Making Biblical Decisions
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- How to Walk Through Spiritual Weariness