How to Pray for Patience

For some reason, most of us are scared to pray for patience. You’ve been told at some point “don’t pray for patience or your life will start turning upside down!”

And whether it was said with a laugh or with all seriousness, in the back of our mind we’ve feared to pray for patience.

And if we’re honest, we oftentimes feel like a failure when it comes to patience because we desperately try to manifest it in our soul and inevitably end up failing. But if we stop for a minute, the scriptures paint a different picture for us about what patience is and how to attain it.

What Patience Looks Like

"Patience is better than power, and controlling one’s emotions, than capturing a city" Proverbs 16:33

"A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11

Both of these verses show us what patience looks like in real life. It is better than power. Patience comes when a person has insight. Even if we haven’t seen it look that way in our own life, these Proverbs show us what it SHOULD look like as we become more patient.

How to Become Patient

The book of Proverbs is a wisdom book NOT a practical “how to” book. It shows us what godliness looks like and gives instruction into wise choices, but we need to read the rest of scripture in order to understand how to attain what Proverbs demonstrates is the wisest and godliest life lest we start to believe it is up to us to manifest patience! 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" Galatians 5:22-23   

Can you see the difference between Proverbs and Galatians? 

Galatians talks about the fruit that comes from learning to live relying on the Spirit of God. The fruit of the Spirit is patience. It is something that is created in you as you let the Holy Spirit live in and through you. Proverbs then gives you that picture of what your life will look like as you let God begin to change you and live through you.

Proverbs is setting before you the vision and Galatians is giving you the How To.

How it Works in Real Life  

You pray for patience. 

You know patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (a product of God working in your life)

So you realize that by praying for patience, you are really asking God to give you opportunities to learn how to turn to Him and rely on Him throughout your daily life.  

As opportunities arise throughout your day, you make an effort to stop and ask God to work through you and enable you to have patience.

As you learn to rely on God he enables you to choose patience over anger, self-control over indulgence, and gentleness over rashness. This is not because you had enough will-power to make a good choice, but because you let God grow it in you.  

Letting God Develop Patience in You

You will see this fruit in your life as you learn to submit and humble yourself to God moment by moment throughout your day, week, month, and years.  This fruit grows as you steadily allow God to rule in your heart and life.  

Did you see it? You actually had nothing to do with the fruit of the Spirit being evident in your life. You simply were faithful to turn to the the Lord and seek Him continually.

Words of Caution

And yes, for all you devil’s advocates out there, you can definitely manifest patience, kindness, love, and the rest without God….for a short period of time.  I can wake up fully rested and in a great mood and not need God once throughout the day. On those days, I can be extremely patient with everyone I interact with.  But what happens on the morning when I didn’t sleep all night, my kids are being ridiculous, my husband is not being the helpful man I wish he was, and I lost my keys AND gained 5 pounds over night?   I’m not manifesting anything on my own in that situation.  

On the other hand, if you create a life of turning to God, HE will manifest the fruit of the Spirit in you. The fruit won’t depend on whether you’re having a good day or a bad day.  How much sleep you got and if your family is being reasonable or not does not determine the fruit in your life IF you have made a habit of turning to God and letting Him transform you and grow those fruits. 

Result

So back to that “don’t pray for patience” statement.  

I say pray for it!  Because what you are really saying is “God, I’m your child.  Give me opportunities today to help me learn how to live like I’m your child and let you transform me into your image.”  

It’s only then we can read James 1:2-4 and understand that James is encouraging us on our faith journey.  He is reminding us not to fear opportunities that force us to depend on God. It’s these very opportunities that God equips us for, walks us through, and uses to transform us into his image.   

Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing. If you don’t have all the wisdom needed for this journey, then all you have to do is ask God for it; and God will grant all that you need. He gives lavishly and never scolds you for asking

So start praying for the fruit of the Spirit because ultimately YOU aren’t responsible for growing that fruit in your life.  You are simply responsible for humbling yourself before God and remembering to turn to HIM continually and asking for help. He does all the hard work.

Looking for more practical help with your emotions? Check out this post with some good steps for you!